Lifted

Today I'm feeling inspired to write. I'm feeling inspired to not only share my thanks with God, but to also share my experiences this past week, and the overwhelming comfort I have been receiving given my current family situation. Saturday, I will be taking my mother to a shelter. Yes, a shelter. I will be taking her to the Hebron House, where I pray that a door will be opened, and she will start to get pointed in the right direction to get the care she needs.

I've realized that I can't heal her. I can't bank on the fact that if she by the grace of God does get evaluated, that she will be compliant with taking her medication. If by even a slimmer chance, those medications are taken, they actually work. Yes, you could say I hit my breaking point this week. I felt like again, there was nothing I could do, and there was nowhere to turn. I felt like I had little to no support left, and that my mother was going to end up on the streets, and not have any more options sent her way. For the most part, that was true. However in a time, where I couldn't much less make it through vocal sentence about this issue without crying, somehow my head was cleared. I did a mental dump. I wrote in my prayer journal. I broke down in tears, and I handed this off to God once more --this time with no strings attached. Not one. I once again, set aside the hurt, the pain, the anger, the worry, the embarrassment -(the list goes on) and begged God to please show me an answer of some kind.

The next day I woke up, feeling surprisingly good. Motivated, and in a sense guided. I started looking up various facilities, shelters, and state contacts. I wrote and called about 20 of them, and started to tell them my mom's story. I started to ask questions. Questions I didn't know I had. In less than 24 hours, I was pointed towards Hebron House by nearly half of these people. I was given other suggestions as well. During this same time, I had family step up as support, I had friends offer to make care packages for my mom, I had an overwhelming sense of comfort, even by myself that God was saying don't worry, I'm going to carry you through this, you need it -- and I did.

My mother needed to fine help and shelter in under a week, and within 48 hours I seem to have found the best solution that we have been able to come up with in 7 years. I have no idea how this is going to turn out, and I have no expectations. That was part of the "giving this all to God with no strings attached" I know he has been there, I know he continues to be there, and I am just going to keep on praying that he continues to so clearly guide me as he has this week.

The situation is sad, and the outlook might not be as bright as I would like it to be, but to see God's presence around me and my mother right now is all the comfort I need.
So today is a good one, a positive one, and there's still a lot to do. But I think He's got a plan... and I might finally be catching on.