$2 dollar a day challenge

This week has been nothing short of an eye opener. There have definitely been ups and downs over the course of the last 4 days. FOUR days only and I have had so much to think about. (Mainly from being hungry ALL the time, but also from all the thoughts, conversations and actions that have taken place over this same duration.) God is working overtime in my heart and mind this week, and I haven't posted in awhile so I figured I should try and get these thoughts out somewhere where I can reflect on them later.

Our church tasked us with doing the $2 dollar a day challenge. A brief overview of what this is? Eating on $10 for the week. Nothing more. Nothing less. $10 per person. I figured it would be difficult. I figured my heart that is already compassionate towards people in poverty would be further opened up. I figured I would even learn something new. After the weeks end we will buy groceries with the money we didn't spend for the Mukwonago food pantry.

I expected the positive responses and encouragement I received over the week. What I did not expect was the varying negative  responses of anything from "Well half the world might live on $2 a day...but they also grow their own vegetables...they have food." to "This goes completely against my atheism to take part in this." My immediate reaction was to respond. My immediate reaction was to shake these people and tell them to wake up. That these problems are very real, but also very easily helped. God quickly spoke to me and reminded me I was not only learning compassion for those "less fortunate" than I, but also for those who didn't see things from my perspective. I took a step back, I let it go. I put my two cents in for sure, but I let it go.

Now, another thing happened that so clearly showed me the other side of someone's heart within that same 24 hours. I witnessed the goodness in peoples' hearts as well. I had people who gave me groceries to donate to the pantry that we're saving up our unspent dollars this week to buy for the Mukwonago food pantry. I had people talk to me about the issues in this city. People that said they'd like to do the same thing. This is nice in itself, but one person didn't just pull it from the pantry, they went out and bought them. To them that wasn't a big deal, but after the day before, it was done at the right time, and it will be a big deal for the family it goes to. Different reactions to the same cause.

There have been many conversations this week --serious ones and ones that were done jokingly. I have the priviledge of having a pretty open environment at work where this can be talked about freely.  All the while the wheels have been turning in my head. Examing myself, examining others. I've been offered I don't know how many goodies this week, but like I said, despite my large appetite and constant snacking habits, I'm finding this relatively easy. Yes, I do have some control when it comes to eating. So I've been doing lots of thinking. Thinking about the reality of our city of Milwaukee. About our world. About the brokeness. About the hope. What makes people "tick." Our God. My mother.

My mother. Now this topic as most of you know has had me at my highests and my lowests in my life. I've struggled with this for some time, and finally feel I have this issue in His hands, not mine. Yes, it only took about 6 years to do so... but I think I've gotten there. This week, I have been taught perhaps most by her. My mother is one of those people that over the last year has used food pantries. Who has been homeless. who is not mentally well. Someone of whom I had become deeply saddened by her situation. She has been living among those "less fortunate." She's experienced what these same people in our city face day in and day out. When I think about this, it's not hard for me to stick to my $2 a day. I've seen this reality all too close to home.

The thing that was most hard for me, was seeing people's reactions. People's reactions to those in need. More so people's lack of reaction to those in need. When did we become a people so consumed with our own well being? When did it become to easy to turn a blind eye to someone struggling? When I told my mother about the $2 a day challenge I expected what I think most people who recently were exposed to living in poverty might say. "Maybe they could help me... Yeah, that's exactly what I'm dealing with. So what?"

However, what I heard was very different. Very humbling. Very compassionate. My mother replied with, "That's great. There is a real need for that. My friends I've met at the hope house often go without food, and recently they were completely out. I hope that someone can help Jackie find some kind of a refrigerator. He needs something like that in his place. That would be great." Now Jackie is an alcoholic. A person who let my mother stay with him when she was without a place to stay. He's been suicidal. He is one of those people who doesn't go to a pantry, because he'd rather get beer. He's the person we all decide not to help the needy, because there are people like him out there.  However, here my mom is, now out of his place, out of that situation, and talking about his needs. Wow.

It hurts my heart when I hear people give excused for why someone doesn't deserve something. Truthfully, none of us deserve anything. It's not our place to judge a person, their situation, or how they're living their life. Everyone is doing something wrong in someone's eyes. That doesn't mean they don't have needs, wants and feelings. This truth was only more solidified for me in hearing her words.

This has been in my mind all week. I have chewed on it, reflected on it, and I think now am ready to write my two cents on it.

Perhaps those people "less fortunate" that are living in poverty...have the opportunity to be that much more close to having a relationship with God. In fact, part of me doesn't see them as less fortunate at all. Maybe they lack the essentials we want (this breaks my heart) but I see more and more often those same people being the one's who actually get it. Who understand what it means to be loving, compassionate people.

My mother who has next to nothing now, is concerned with everyone else, not just herself. I am not sure this would have been the case a few years ago. I have seen transformation there that I simply can't explain. I really believe that those less fortunate people, are the ones that might have it right. The ones that would less eagerly turn their back on someone in need. The one's that understand what it is to be compassionate. The one's that don't need that new pair of shoes to be happy. The one's that aren't too busy to help someone in need. Perhaps those of us who "have it all" simply are far too busy and far too filled with everything else to even make room to entertain the thought of God. We're unable to hear him when he does speak to us, because we're to consumed with things he doesn't value "important". God calls us to be a compassionate people. A people that love one another. In this challenge, it's been easier to see him working, easier to "get it." It's in those moments I wonder, who's really the less fortunate.

My heart broke when I heard some of the things said to me  this week... questioning if there was a real need. It really did. But what I didn't expect was for me to get a reality check and at the same time have God show me and make an example out of the fact that yes, these people need help, and yes you should definitely be doing that...but understand 1 thing. "I LOVE these people. I absolutely love them, and think they're perfect just like you. I'm working in their hearts just like I am working in yours. I've kept your mom safe all this time. Trust me." Humbled.

We wont ever be able to comprehend why things happen the way they do in this world, but I am definitely able to say there is always reason, there is always hope, and there is always a bigger picture we aren't completely aware of.

We live in a broken world.  A world where we find one excuse after another to say we don't have enough talent, we dont have enough time, we dont have enough energy. The truth is we do. The truth is we don't care enough. That needs to change. This challenge is just a glimpse into the false reality we live each and every day acting as though those around us aren't hurting and broken.

So my hope is not that you become a Christian from this post, or any other. My hope is not even that you do this challenge yourself (although i strongly encourage it.) The truth is being a christian is about having a relationship with God, with people.  My hope is that you start to open your eyes. To those around you. To those you shut out because you don't agree with them. To those that "sin". To those of a different gender, race, color or status. My hope is that you start to show God's love and compassion for everyone, not just a select crowd. In that, my hope is that you find Jesus. It is, but that is not the reason for my post. The reason for my post is simple, to expose the reality check I was exposed to this week.

This week my mom will be joining us at church. This is something I have prayed about for nearly 7 years since my parents divorce among a series of other events. This Sunday, the day we continue our talk on compassion, and just so happen to be reviewing our $2 dollar a day challenge. Ironic. The best part is I didn't ask. She actually said she'd like to come, after all the asking I have done. After all the ups and downs. After all the negativity even from her. Funny that is going to call on the day when the church is collecting all of that food for people in need, something my mother and her friend can relate to all too well. My mom and her friend will both be joining, and I couldn't be happier about that. It's not the solution to their problems, but it's a step in the right direction.  My hope is that they will be hearing the word of God, maybe clearer than they've ever heard the past few years...or maybe just as loud as they've been hearing it all along.  I can't help but smile.